Relationships



Find a group of people who challenge and inspire you,

spend a lot of time with them,

and it will change your life.

Amy Poehler


Relationship Chaos

Feel like you can't really connect to other people?

That your life has been defined by broken relationships?

Struggling with an increasingly volatile relationship, whether that includes verbal altercations or emotional abuse?

Maybe the increased stress of parenthood, especially parenting defiant teenagers, has caused a rift between you and your partner, and you feel as thought the whole family is falling apart.

Or it isn't you having trouble; you're overwhelmed with all the increasing demands of taking care of your job, your home, your family, your friends, and you just can't handle being the rock for everyone anymore.

If any of the above scenarios sound like your life, you aren't the only one. Moreover, there is another way.

Family History Issues

The first place we learn about the world and the people in it is within our families when we are growing up. Some of us learned about love, sharing, and support from our first relationships. Others of us learned the exact opposite; that people are untrustworthy, that love hurts, that we will be forever alone.

Sometimes referred to "family of origin" issues, things from your past that may still haunt you can include:

  • child abuse and/or neglect

  • emotional abuse

  • physical abuse

  • sexual abuse

  • abandonment

  • divorced parents

  • being in foster care

Left unaddressed, these past issues can cause current discord in your life and relationships, such as:

  • difficulty trusting others

  • unstable relationships

  • abusive relationships

  • poor boundaries with others

  • increased anxiety, depression, or mood swings

  • flashbacks and/or nightmares

  • difficulty sharing emotions with others


Whatever your first relationships taught you, the greatest thing in life is that we are not limited or defined by those early relationships. And relationships themselves are not frozen in time; they can continue to evolve along with us as we grow and adapt to the world and life around us.

Codependency

Codependency is simply a dysfunctional way of relating to other people; importantly, it is NOT a personality trait, but a relationship dynamic.

The two extremes of a codependent relationship are frequently referred to as the enabler and the dependent, though in life those roles are frequently fairly nuanced. Although it is difficult to change dynamics within a relationship if we're the only ones making changes, it is not impossible. Especially in codependent relationships, we can positively impact the relationship by modeling the changes we want the other person(s) to engage in.

Codependency is often addressed through a combination of:

  • boundary-setting

  • self-esteem work

  • communication skills-building

  • participation in codependency support groups (such as Al-Anon or CoDA)

  • family therapy

As adults, we get to choose who we surround ourselves with.

In the internet age, the options are limitless.

Through our work together, we will explore what your needs are in either reconnecting you with the community and personal supports within your life and/or expanding your support system through personal, community, professional, and other outlets.